30 Things I've Learned About Myself

August 8, 2018

It’s been a few months already since I turned the big 3-0 and now I can talk about it. It feels great! This is my “Thirty Looks Good on YOU” shoot with #KenKollerPhotography, my good friend  who used to answer my novel texts during my TV news reporting days when things got toilsome. Why the shoot? With each season and each new shoot I learn something about myself.


This birthday was dream. The day felt like a dream. I woke up thinking I don’t feel 30 and truthfully stressed out about absolutely nothing. I reflected back on growing out of self-doubt, discovering my own strength, moving to a new state, moving back to the state, living my childhood dream :::Takes deep breath:::  then… I walked away from living my childhood dream, moved back home, grew back into self-doubt for a minute, decided to let go of self doubt yet again, gained new friends, met the love of my life ::pause::: Life started to speed up. Fell in love for the first time and learned a TON about me. Lost a few lbs, gained a few lbs, lost it again. The changes keep coming.   I’m writing this a few months after my birthday because the dust has settled. Smile.


I came up with a list of 30 things I’ve discovered.


1. Life has one purpose and one purpose only  – To find joy for yourself and spread joy around.


2- You really do achieve a whole new level of freedom when you stop caring about what others think.  Unless it’s family that bugs and I’m trying to let that go but aside from that. Who cares what people think. Do you. Live your life. Don’t scroll on the comments unless it’s all positive, and be happy.


3- The LOML is my best friend – You guys know this. I keep a lot private but his face is plastered all over my digital life because this man doesn’t stop believing in my strength. Love him with all my soul. 😉


4. Giving back to my community more than ever -  Volunteering in the community really gives me a sense of purpose. Funny thing, giving back and getting involved is how I met the love of my life.


5. Love the gym - Once you fall off track though it’s very tough to bounce back into it. Send help.


6. Need to get back into meal prepping - send help at the moment but usually, I love planning meals and consciously choosing what and how to eat. Real talk, sometimes life takes over and it gets difficult.


7. I’m a morning person and a night owl - Probably not the best for my sleep cycle but I LOVE early morning and late nights.


8. I need more energy - Goes without saying.


9. I love coffee - Can’t get enough of it. Coffee...Coffee...Coffee! Iced, hot, blended etc.


10: Scary movies have gotten scarier: Seriously life throws some crazy curveballs sometimes and has scary moments. I can’t watch scary movies like I did at the age of 11.   


11:  I’m a better communicator – I’m getting a lot better at balancing communication. Learning to listen and speak.


12: I love technology cleanses: Put the phone down and take in life around you. Literally STOP and smell the roses or ocean breeze or whatever it is. Feel. Experience. Enjoy. Look up from  technology.


13: I’m not tidy- It’s ok. Will I ever be? Maybe when I find a bigger closet. I can bleach, dust, vacuum all day but I can’t for the life of me keep my closet and bedroom tidy. Not ashamed to share that.


14: I’ve become a lot like my mother  - I make good shopping choices, I love my family, I love to entertain, I gift kindly, and never show up to someone's home for the first time empty handed . Thanks mom.


15: More yoga pants? Fitness clothes are my weakness. Yoga pants are pants.


16: Not a fan of shopping: I love to dress up. Not a fan of shopping. Mom is my stylist what more do I need?


17: Leaving my childhood dream job was worth it -  Scary at first, but I’ve grown closer to my grandparents, have time for the family, & I met the LOML (Love of my life).


18: Searching for my purpose still: I hope I do spread joy everywhere I go.


19: Don’t need alcohol to have fun: REALLY! My body can’t handle even a little anymore, for the time being. It could be a phase. It’s healthier.


20: I love to dance - When you get the chance to sit it out or dance. ALWAYS dance. Always.


21: Nothing can help you find happiness but you - You need to be your own best friend first. Friends will come and go and that’s okay. Love is beautiful but it’s not the answer to happiness although it does heighten it, it’s not the answer. Living your dream career isn’t either, although you should love what you do. I’m not there yet,  but I know bringing babies in the world won’t answer that either. If you want to be happy, be. If only ____ then I’ll be happy isn’t the answer.


22: Does one ever get over chocolate? I can never get sick of chocolate.


23: Say yes - with reason of course: Saying yes to joining new groups, making new friends, trying  new things makes life exciting.


24: I’ve learned I’m an empath - Living solo for many years made be very intune with others emotions, or may have quieted my mind just enough. As a result I feel others energies. Highly sensitive to them. I’m learning to see it as a blessing.


25: Don’t care for titles -  Does it matter what the title is as long work gets done and people are happy? “President,”  “director,” “CEO”? Who cares? Nobody can do anything solo, the universe is abundant and going at life alone, doesn’t  work.


26: The most valuable thing in my world is time -Time has somehow sped up leading up to 30 and it just keeps going. There is nothing more valuable. I find myself visiting grandma and grandpa  more and enjoying moments with family more than ever before.


27: Gratitude -  Feel grateful. The world can be a sucky place sometimes but feel grateful because if you really think about it, you probably have everything you’ve ever wanted. If not, change your circumstance. Stop making excuses.


28: Complaining is a disease-  Anytime I catch myself complain,  I consciously think about why. What’s going on in  that moment of that day. There is no reason to complain. Feel grateful and good things will come.


29: Failure is great -  It’s always so  tough to accept it in the moment  but every time I’ve thought I’ve failed, I realize soon after, it actually led me to a great place!


30: You DO need to love what you do -   Anytime I’ve tried to do something I haven’t loved the only person losing was me. When you follow your passion, good things arise.


One for good luck .I wear my hair natural and less makeup more than ever before. 


Thank you for reading! Looking forward to the next list. 




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